All Have the POWER to Be Free

Does Your Daughter’s Life Matter Less? Karla Brada is Everyone’s Daughter

CBS 48 Hours – The Sober Truth – Karla Brada Mendez


Let’s examine what happened to Karla Brada Mendez. What is really ironic and heartbreaking is that there is intense discrimination against and lack of empathy for women who are beaten and raped by their partners if those women also seek help for Substance Use or are known to be Substance Use Disordered. The Elements Behavioral Health website states that, “Recognizing that culturally-ascribed roles and gender expectations affect society’s attitudes toward women with substance abuse.” (SEE: Elements Behavioral Health: Attitudes About Women) Society’s attitude toward these women has to have a significant impact on the lives of women dealing with substance use challenges. It is as if women are expendable if they have a Substance Use Disorder…but few people in society will openly admit to having this bias. Some may not even be aware that they hold women with substance use issues in any lower regard than they hold other women. It is, however, quite apparent that this is the case.


The investigation of the brutal murder of Karla Brada Mendez was evidently delayed due to her being identified as a woman who struggled with Substance Use Disorder, as if that made Karla’s death less worthy of full and immediate investigation. Hometown Station reports, “What took the longest was the official autopsy report,” Hernandez said. “It was deferred for many, many months as they looked into the victim’s medical history and allegations of drug use because she had been in a rehab program.” (SEE: )


There is no valid reason for the investigation into Karla’s death to have taken any longer or have been any more or less complex than anyone else’s death. She was someone’s daughter; Jaroslava and Hector Mendez’s oldest child.  She was a beloved sister and friend. Karla was a human being. Her life mattered. Regardless of her personal and/or public struggles, Karla had a heart of gold and enriched the lives of all who had the blessing to know her. Actually, she dealt with the same issues that many young Americans currently struggle with. According to the CDC, Substance Use Disorder has reached epidemic proportions in this country among young adults and teens. (SEE:


Do we as American parents feel that our sons and daughters lives are worth less (or worthless) just because our children may have fallen into an unfortunate struggle with drinking or with drugs as so very many American teens and young adults have? (SEE: No one’s child is immune. The loss of their child is a parent’s worst nightmare regardless of the struggles the child may have. Her death deserved immediate investigation and the only consolation to the heinous delays in Karla’s case is the fact that AA member, Eric Earle has ultimately been sentenced to 26 years to life for killing her.


A Parent’s Worst Nightmare: The Karla Brada Mendez Story


Domestic violence has also reached epidemic proportions in this society. The ludicrous irony here is that many, many women, who suffer domestic violence and sexual assault by partners and others, may use substances to medicate and to deal with their pain. Does this come as a shock to anyone? In fact, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that, women who have been abused are fifteen times more likely to abuse alcohol and nine times more likely to abuse drugs than women who have not been abused. (SEE:


Still, when people hear that a brutalized or murdered woman may have had a Substance Use problem, they often lump her onto a “pay her no mind” pile. Minds close. Hearts are hardened against the brutalized woman who also struggles with drinking and/or drug use. Women like Karla often face horrendous odds when struggling to overcome substance use and abuse by a violent, often also Substance Use Disordered partner. The NCADV reports, “51% of domestic violence program directors agree that a woman’s use of alcohol can be a barrier to leaving a violent relationship. 87% of domestic violence program directors agree that the risk of intimate partner violence increases when both partners abuse alcohol or drugs.” Society ought to be ashamed rather than placing the blame on these victims. Perhaps the exposure of Karla’s case will cause people to pause and consider themselves, their daughters and loved ones. We are all vulnerable to being affected by the dual epidemics of Substance Use Disorder and Domestic Violence in this country.


Judgmental and misogynistic attitudes held by men and women against women, cause a great number of battered and murdered women who may also struggle with substances to be discounted. What’s worse is that some supposed women’s advocates who work in the fight to end domestic violence (female and male advocates, mind you) may also be guilty of harboring discriminatory, gender-based attitudes against women who are beaten and/or killed if those women also used any substances. Preposterously, many AA members themselves level judgments and cast aspersions onto Karla Brada, the murder victim instead of onto Eric Earle the AA member who is guilty of the crime of murder. Their most heinous condemnation is saved for Karla, the victim.


The most vociferous AA members blame Karla for her own murder by making obscenely obtuse and abusive statements such as, “She was not sober when she died!” This overtly victim-blaming statement is akin to those who question, “What was she wearing?” when they hear that a woman has been raped. To this day, women who are victims of sexual assault are still blamed for being raped—and now the further harm to female victims is often carried out online. The Think Progress web site highlights a recent example of the victim-blaming attitudes that survivors of sexual assault often encounter once they come forward about the crime that was perpetrated against them. (SEE: )


It is extremely revealing to read the typical comments hurled about by AA members regarding the Karla Brada case. It is hardly surprising when one has taken the time to really review and consider the attitude toward women that is reflected in most Old Oxford Group Religion (a.k.a. Alcoholics Anonymous) literature. A recent article by Dr. Stanton Peele, recounts the experiences of Juliet Abram. Juliet explains that she was hurt by her experiences in AA. The article states, “Finally, AA’s misogynistic language and culture permit sexual misconduct and sexual crimes to occur. These nearly always go unreported, as though they are almost expected, which is why concern over 13th stepping is rising to the fore, pushed by my friend Monica Richardson. It has to be halted.” (SEE: AA’s Male Culture)


The following document provides examples of typical comments made by current AA members regarding the murder of their own AA newcomer, Karla Brada Mendez:


So to AA’s members’ question: “Was she sober when she died?”

Are you “sober” or “sane” or “human” when you ask such a question?

Here is a more relevant question: “Did being a long time AA member and meeting-maker help Earle to stay sober or prevent him from going on to murder an AA newcomer in a drunken rage?”


What does that kind of question even mean to sane, reasonable people in the context of Karla being the victim of murder? It means nothing…if one is sane; if one is reasonable. Few of Karla’s bashers ever state the fact that long time AA member and now convicted murderer, Eric Earle was not “sober” when he brutally beat, cut, tortured and murdered AA newcomer Karla Brada. They simply do not question or condemn him at all. Earle’s “sobriety” doesn’t matter to sane and reasonable people…or the jury and judge that found him guilty of 1st degree murder.  Still, since “state of sobriety” matters so much to these individuals, why do they fail to make any statements about the long time AA member and murderer’s lack of sobriety? Is this due to misogyny, AA member’s blind loyalty to AA or a combination of the two? No sane or reasonable person can make sense of this dichotomy, however. Only those incurably diseased, dedicated to ‘not-thinking’ and self-professed powerlessness, can make sense or reason of the blatant lack thereof. It is to be expected of them actually.


On Gabrielle Glaser’s website it states, “In fact, more women are turning to alcohol these days than ever before. In Her Best-Kept Secret, journalist Gabrielle Glaser uncovers this hidden-in-plain-sight drinking epidemic – but doesn’t cause you to recoil in alarm. She is the first to document that American women are drinking more often than ever and in ever larger quantities.” (SEE: Suffice it to say, not all, but many battered, sexually abused women turn to substance use in order to suffer through or in some way self-medicate themselves through the abuse. It is not a good solution, but many desperate, isolated and dis-empowered women sadly turn to drugs and alcohol to deal with the torture they endure. Subsequently, many of our friends, daughters, sisters, etc. may turn to or be sent to 12 step meetings for “help”…not knowing of the potential and greater danger that may lie in wait for them there. (SEE:


So, please let’s examine what happened to Karla Brada Mendez. It could quite easily be a situation faced by your own teen, young adult daughter, or vulnerable woman of any age. Remember, young females in our lives do not always disclose to their parents or close family and friends the struggles and private demons such as date rape, domestic violence, substance abuse, etc. that they may be dealing with. Jaraslava Mendez tells us that her Karla never told her of the horrible situation with alcohol, drugs or abuse that she was dealing with. Is your daughter suffering in silence? The chances that women dealing with such crises may also end up in 12 Step rooms mixed with mandated criminals and predators is much higher than most people realize. Laura Tompkins, Addictions Specialist highlights Eric Earle’s disturbing history, “In this case, this particular monster was mandated to AA 12 step meetings over and over and his rap sheet includes attempted murder of his ex-wife (smothering her with a pillow in front of their children) and a restraining order from his own father after he almost beat him to death.  Earle spent over 20 years getting away with victimizing vulnerable women in AA financially, physically and emotionally.” (SEE:


48 Hours – The Sober Truth, reveals what happened to Karla Brada Mendez and her AA Member Murderer, Eric Earle:

 Again, examine what happened to Karla Brada Mendez. It could quite easily be a situation faced by your own teen, young adult daughter, or vulnerable woman of any age. Rest assured, if Karla’s parents had known what lie in wait for their precious daughter when she went for help with Substance Use Disorder, they would have never left their daughter to enter those rooms…never. Karla’s life was as precious as any other’s! And so is your daughter’s life; let’s protect her. Let us protect them all. (SEE:
Do you know who your children are “meeting” with?




Karla Brada Victim-Blamed & Her Family Disparaged, Disrespected & Maligned Online by AA Supporters Who Criticize AA Member & Convicted Murderer Very Little; Surprising?

For those who have yet to see the nature of the comments that have been made, please access the linked PDF document. It seems that some people have access to the comment section and others do not. I feel these comments, disgusting though many may be, exemplify the ways they “think” and the way they treat vulnerable people. So, let them speak for themselves. SEE LINK: Parents of murdered Saugus woman sue AA COMMENTS as of November 20 2014

You are invited and encouraged to carefully read and compare the many comments of those who consistently “blame the victim” while most of them say little to nothing about the AA member, convicted MURDERER Earle. Ask yourself WHAT could make anyone into someone who would blame Karla Brada and her family for her brutal murder?

If you do not know the answer to that core question either review the link above…or remain in a state of utter denial. It does not matter. Your thoughts or lack thereof will change NOTHING. AA and NA programs are being exposed and sued. The light is shining. We are all now powerless to stop the truth from being exposed. And that’s just fine with me!

Abusers in “the program” are not protected by the faux idea of “anonymity” that was contrived to protect Alcoholics Anonymous and never its members. Here’s a word to the wise Mr. and Ms. “sponsor”: If you are abusing people, STOP NOW! AA and NA will not protect you. AA & NA do not and can not grant you any rights or special dispensation to emotionally, mentally, physically, financially or spiritually harm other people. They never could. It’s not safe (or legal) to hurt people anymore. There are actually laws in place for the protection of Vulnerable People like Karla Brada and the many other people, women and minors who have fallen victim to all kinds of heinous crimes involving AA and NA.

You do not have to agree with this current growing trend to expose AA and NA. Your opinion and faithful adherence to 12 step doctrine will not put a stop to any current or future lawsuits.

If you have any part in harming others, all you can do is stop now and brace yourself. This is only the beginning. People are not powerless. AA and NA meetings are no treatment for Substance Use Disorder. After 75 years leading to the current epidemic, we should all want and demand evidence-based treatment for those who need and choose it. And if one chooses to be an Old Oxford Group Religion follower, (which AA and NA are) that’s fine. The lies, however, must stop! The deception, abuse, and coercion must end. It is time for AA and NA to be held accountable…and they will be.

Instead of attacking victims and their families…get to “cleaning up your side of the street!”


JUSTICE for Karla Brada is FINALLY Here! Her Murderer is Off to Prison As Her Family Sues AA

Hot damn! It feels so good to be able to say Eric Earle, convicted MURDERER of Karla Brada instead of “alleged” or “accused” murderer. We all have known for a long time now that the bastard killed her. Justice has finally been served—I guess.

The real justice would have been for Karla and other innocent people to have never been sent to that scam of a program in the first place. People still refer to AA as “treatment” for alcoholism. It makes me want to wretch. It is not treatment in any way shape or form for anything. Even the zombies know that. It is unsupervised group therapy among mixed groups of people some of whom are murderers, rapists, thieves and sociopaths all following a cult religion based off of Old Oxford Group Religion plagiarized by Bill Wilson and his drunken friends.

Again, true justice would be that Karla Brada and no one ever was or ever will be sent into those seedy, dangerous rooms full of villains and cult-victims.

Looking at his fat-fake four-eyed face as the judge said, “You’re done!” made me want to jump through the screen and slap those damned glasses off of his lying face. He actually imagined that he would get away with killing Karla and saying that she just fell down the steps?

This is the first time since I found out about Karla’s murder that I am beginning to feel that not everyone in our so-called justice system is a total idiot. This judge got it right. He still seems to have his brains and his integrity in place as a real judge instead a pawn of AA corruption and a system that is supposed to be separated from religions; yet supports, promotes and unconstitutionally sends American citizens to a cult religion in lieu of serving time for crimes real or fabricated.

This should put all of the abusive sponsors in Alcoholics Anonymous on notice. They need to see that they cannot just go on doing and saying anything they want to people just because those people have the misfortune of ending up at one of their sticky-icky tables. It is illegal to abuse Vulnerable People in this country in any way AA-holes—even if your sponsor tells your dumb ass it’s a “step” or it’s OK. It is not ok and AA will not help you any more than ol’ Earle is being helped RIGHT NOW in his prison cell for the next quarter of a century to life!

Karla’s family is now suing AA for harboring that monster and for her sponsor persuading (likely coercing) her to drop the assault charges she filed against that bastard about a week before he killed her…and stayed all night with her dead body before calling the cops in the morning. Yeah, that’s the kind of fucking “miracle” poor Karla Brada met up with in AA. And he is not the only one. Unfortunately, there are more lying in wait and abusing innocent people right at this moment.

I do not want to think of them today though.

Let’s just celebrate this moment of JUSTICE. Jaroslava Mendez and her family have worked so tirelessly to follow-through and come through for Dear Karla. I know sometimes they thought that this day may never come. It has arrived! JUSTICE!  JUSTICE!  JUSTICE for Karla!

Thank YOU God of ALL!

Eric Allen Earle Convicted Murderer of Karla Brada Finally Goes to Prison!

And fuck YOU AA higher power god-door-knob!

When I’m Told Not to Feel Angry…It Makes Me F-N ANGRIER!

 Alcoholics Anonymous would have newcomers and members believe that the emotion of anger is one that they cannot possibly afford as it will lead surely to relapse and death. Even resentment I was told would lead to relapse and DEATH. (Actually EVERYTHING besides a strict adherence to Bill’s Book of Bullshyt and the inane lunacy flowing from so-called “sponsors’” pie-holes will lead to DEATH…DEATH and more DEATH with a pit stop or two along the way to the ASYLUM, PRISON and HOSPITALS…all ultimately leading to DEATH.

FROM The Big Book on Anger:

“But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die…
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison….
When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”
Review pages 66-67 for full text.

Thus, in AA for old timers and newcomers alike, to feel anger is TO DIE. If you accept that ideology, ‘to be human is to DIE’ because all humans are subject to a full range of human emotions; one of which is ANGER. AA zombies have been conditioned to believe that to feel anger will cause them to actually die. What a torturous way to live! One must utterly repress a normal human emotion…or DIE? No wonder so many of the people who go into AA; leave AA…and at an increasing way. 

Sadly, many people in and out of the cult do not understand and anger and are afraid of it. They believe that anger is in and of itself wrong, sinful, harmful and destructive. I do not agree with them. Anger is what you make of it. You have the power–not anger. I really appreciate what blogger, Stephen A. Diamond, Ph.D writes on anger: “...anger or rage is a powerful explosive like dynamite, which can be used destructively or constructively, for evil or good. Like nuclear radiation or nitroglycerine, anger can be used both to harm and to heal. Anger can, under certain circumstances, take total possession of a person, driving us blindly into self-destructive behavior and evil deeds. Like love, anger can be “blind.” Anger is often experienced as a threatening, malicious alien force taking over mind, body and soul. A ferocious beast, a berserk bear, a poisonous serpent, fire-breathing dragon, wrathful god, vindictive devil or demon.” From:

You know what I figured out? I am going to die anyway. Life leads to DEATH. As a full adult it is my responsibility to discover, define and determine my own Destiny, my own Beliefs and how I choose to manifest in this World. I have to live my own life true to who I am; not who AA or anyone else tells me to be.

I accept that as a human being I will sometimes experience joy, sorrow, pain, pleasure, anger and a full array of other normal human emotions. That is life. Teaching people to stuff and deny their anger under fear of death is pure lunacy. It harms people.

No old self-defined drunk on this planet or anywhere in the Universe has a right to dictate how you or I shall live life and/or FEEL about the life we live—whether we drink any substance upon God’s green earth or not.

Anger is a real emotion. It is not negative. It is not positive. It is POWERFUL and defined by the ways in which we choose to channel and use it. Anger may be used for evil or good. My anger is not directed at any real person with regards to the cult of Alcoholics Anonymous. My anger is directed at this bogus institution and the miseducation of a nation that feeds people into this faux program that harms more people than it helps. Any sane person might be angered to discover what those of us in the AA Pro-TRUTH Community (better name than “anti-AA”) has discovered in the past few years.

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses.”   William Arthur Ward

As a survivor of childhood molestation, rape, a sadistic marriage where I endured chronic intimate terrorism…and now survivor of AA, I am often told that I must “let it go” and I must stop being angry. WTF?

Let me give any pious, forgive-ness bully, self-righteous, judgmental asshole attempting to feign “helpfulness” a little 411: Telling a survivor NOT to be angry only makes the person ANGRIER. Stop being an INFURIATING ass-hole! That would help to relieve a great deal of anger.

When bullied by self-deputized Emotions Police masquerading as caring friends, associates or family members, often times the anger directed at abusers is re-routed within  survivors to include the anti-anger bully. Seriously, has your anger ever been calmed by having some jerk stand over you and tell you how every wrong you are for being angry? How does that really make you feel? THINK about it for a minute.

I absolutely hate for anyone to tell me how I should feel without their having lived MY LIFE AS ME. Note the distinction: MY LIFE AS ME! For even if they have endured the exact same circumstances or even circumstances more severe than what I have survived, they did not survive anything as ME. So, I advise them to thank their lucky stars and save their advice on anger for Rainbow Brite and Mickey Mouse.

A survivor must have the space and time to feel in order to move into the place where they can heal. This can’t be forced or coerced. A sincerely kind person would not even want to try to force a survivor to do or to be or to feel anything besides what he or she is feeling.

Survivors especially have a right to their anger and to process it as and if they can. No one has any right to judge them. A survivor has a hell of a lot more right to feel angry than an outsider has a right to come, judge and tell another human being not to feel however he or she damned feels!

In AA I had to endure people who did not know me stand in my face and tell me how I should feel, think and be. They were smug beyond all measure and always regurgitating bs from the BB as if they were quoting the very word of God. I will never allow anyone to give me unsolicited advice again. I choose whom I will listen to based on how much regard and respect I have for each person. I have absolutely no respect or regard for any advice, information or ideas coming from anyone who is currently a cult victim in AA, NA or any other cult.

I could just slap the sour spit out of someone’s mouth when they try to tell me how the fuck I should feel. I have fantasies about the kinds of things that have happened to survivors, instead happening to people who try to control the emotions of survivors and then telling them, “Now YOU let it go now Big Pimpin! Forgive. Let it go…or DIE!” We can already imagine just how “forgiving” and “gracious” they would be then, can’t we?

Just observe them; they can’t even allow survivors to feel their own emotions. They have no empathy, no gracious acceptance. They would have no more benevolence if our shoes were actually on their foul feet. They would be even uglier and angrier than what they judge us for. I guarantee it. For if there was true agape love and grace in their hearts and souls they would not treat a hurt person so badly. They would not add to another’s pain with indifference, judgment and needless admonishment.

They make it harder for survivors…they really do!

I know I would have been far more successful at processing my anger when I was younger if not for the many judgmental ass-holes who arrived to inform me of how wrong I was to feel angry. They made me far angrier. Why? It feels like an invalidation of the core of one’s self for someone who you go to for help or support or just a listening ear to attempt to shame and blame you for your natural emotions.

It feels like further fucking violation to be told not to feel angry about being harmed!
Because it is!

I experienced far too much invalidation and mental violation in AA. It increased my anxiety and threatened my sense of inner balance. Insanity is infectious in there. It is quite literally palpable and pungent. You can catch crazy from those mo fo’s; I swear! I am still thanking the Universe for delivering me from that vipers’ nest of the most harmful, hateful, callous, individuals I have ever met in my life. (They have a lot of anger by the way. They feel that stuffing it and being dispassionate about it means that they are not angry. They are VERY ANGRY. They express it in very passive; very AGGRESSIVE and harmful ways.)

Anyone who runs an anti-AA blog can tell you how ANGRY those zombies are. They post horrible, hateful things. No one is nastier or angrier than they are.

I am far less angry now than I was when I was in AA. I did not get here from anyone telling me NOT to be angry at AA either. If there had been people telling me that I would still be angry and I would also be angry at them for their attempts at emotionally coercing me. Most of the people who bully others about how they feel are the most EXPOLSIVE and angry people that anyone could ever encounter if the truth be told. Anyone who tells others not to be angry is a lying hypocrite.

Feel your feelings! You are a HUMAN BEING.

It is important to get in touch with your emotions and process them. You can express them through all sorts of creative (not destructive) means. I like to use art. When I lived by the ocean cliffs I named big head-sized rocks and dashed them with a SCREAM upon the jagged, rocky shore. That was refreshingly cathartic.

You can feel & channel your anger in harmless even creative ways such as:
Connecting with Nature.
Screaming (in a safe place).
Even a good spitty curse-fess (alone or with an empathetic friend) can help you to express and relieve anger. If your anger is causing you difficulties in living day to day life, you deserve the relief that a skilled and caring counselor can provide you with.

 Remember, you have a RIGHT to feel how you feel. Your feelings are feelings. They are NEVER wrong. How you choose to use that anger is what is important. For instance, I was VERY angry at how I was mistreated in AA. I fantasized many unmentionable things happening to my ex-sponsor and grand sponsor. Instead of using that anger to bother anyone, I channeled it into the development of my web site and this blog. Just look! My anger has helped other people and myself.

The next time someone tells you that you should NOT feel angry, tell them to stop ‘shoulding’ on you before you get really, really ANGRY at them!

Your range of emotions are as beautiful and bold as the range of colors within the rainbow…from anger to joy from pretty pink to emerald green…

Feel your feelings! You are a HUMAN BEING damn it!


If self-proclaimed “powerlessness” & “disease” helps you to achieve & retain the state of abstinence you choose, I have no argument with you.


I have been on a much needed break from this “vibe”. Maybe I am back and have fully processed my profound disappointment. I will not go into what I was so disappointed about. Why? It may just spark it back up. I’ll just say that we of somewhat like minds as far as Billy W. is concerned can afford to give one another due consideration and respect–even when we inevitably (and hopefully) disagree on some things. I mean, what the f is this–an AA table?

In my box here I often get comments (long & short) from AA devotees or disciples (or zombies). The stench emanating from  them often gets so fowl after 3 to 5 words that I immediately recognize the “diseased-smell” just reeking from them.  I TRASH THEM without reading further. One zombie started his post with… “This is bullshi—” TRASH…TRASH…TRASH… He could have spent his precious time better by repeating the Serenity Prayer a few times if you ask me. Go figure.

Still, every now and then I get a message from a pro-AA that seems to have been able to retain their humanity and mind despite AA’s thorough indoctrination process. These people know that they have been specifically told by AA and their sponsor NOT TO THINK! Yet some of them still dare to THINK…it shows in their writing. I appreciate that. So, instead of trashing this thoughtful and honest, albeit pro-powerlessness, post by a fellow blogger, I have decided to re-post it.

I will also say, that even though I do not welcome communication with pro-AA people right now in my life, if the religion or treatment or wisdom or whatever you would like to call it in Alcoholics Anonymous helps you, has helped you or whatever benefit you have derived from it, I say, GREAT. This blog was not and is not created for you. You have the Big Book and the 12 & 12. Isn’t that all you need? Why trifle here?

I don’t get it.

I am not an alcoholic.

I am not powerless.

I dumped every connection to all of those AA people going on two years ago now. I am not headed for the hospital. As a matter of fact, health wise, I feel better than I have felt in quite some time. I am not on my way to any mental institution. In fact, I feel more clear-headed and far less stress and/or anxiety now than I ever did in AA. I am not in jail nor have I any plans to break any laws. And I ain’t dead yet!


If self-proclaimed “powerlessness” & “disease” helps you to achieve & retain the state of abstinence you choose, I have no argument with you. I congratulate you on every last single little day of remission you are able to ink out…one day at a time. I really do.


“From the reading I’ve been doing, I can finally believe that many addicts just learn to control themselves. But I have tried self-recovery and moderation 15 times around and failed every time, much of it before I ever heard the terminology about the disease theory of addiction. I have stared, horrified and demoralized to the core, at age 17, innocent of AA/NA rhetoric, at my hands, wondering whose hands they had become, why they picked up bottles and pills my head was screaming at them to stop picking up, why even my mouth defied my brain’s orders and drank, whether I was the only one like that. To me, lack of control as an addiction concept has been very healing to my self-esteem, because it means I’m not the only one who has been so weak. Therefore, to me, I am powerless after the first drink (because the agony it sets off can be abated only by a few more), and have intermittent power over the first one in the face of temptation, but if there is no drink being handed to me nor the smell in my nostrils, I have perfect control. So, I stay out of bars and remind party hosts that I cannot drink. it works for me. Yet there have been times I watched in a trance as my feet walked into a bar, but that was years ago.”

Imagine…Powerless Pilots Flying (crashing) POWERFUL Planes: TABOO TOPIC?

Pilots Have Their Own Underground Version of AA

Many people may be shocked to discover the truth about the ties between AA , the FAA, and alcoholism. We have and have had a problem with substance use/over-use and pilots…for quite some time. The CDC reported last year that Substance Use Disorder has become epidemic in the US. Our pilots are not immune. Alcoholism among airplane pilots became so problematic that they eventually had to form their own “underground” version of Alcoholics Anonymous. This organization is called Birds of a Feather International ( A seasoned pilot revealed to Lodi News Sentinel in a 1985 interview that many pilots were alcoholics:,685225

“This is your pilot speaking. I am POWERLESS over this plane!”

Pilots with alcohol and drug use problems are routinely sent to 12-step-based programs to “treat” their substance use and/or overuse challenges; in fact, many professionals are, but this piece is focusing on pilots. HIMS was also started by airplane pilots dealing with substance use challenges. It is pure Alcoholics Anonymous…on wings! HIMS is specific to commercial pilots and coordinates the identification, treatment and return to the cockpit of impaired aviators. It is an industry-wide effort in which companies, pilot unions, and FAA work together to preserve careers and further air safety. FROM:

The public has a right to know how extensive the problem of substance abuse by pilots is and what solutions—effective solutions are in place (if any). The airplane passengers and the pilots also have a right to know how such programs operate, what levels of effectiveness they have (if any) and whether people exposed to such programs experience any ill effects.  The Huffington Posts lists numerous incidences involving ‘drunk pilots’. SEE: Yes, there is a problem!

What is the solution? While there are evidence-based alternatives to 12 step based programs, Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous enjoy an undeserved reputation for being the best place to turn for help with alcohol and substance use issues. Pilots, alcoholism and Bill W.’s Oxford Group Religion go way back. Enjoy this interesting rendition of the endlessly repeated Serenity Prayer which all 12-step meetings begin and/or end with…and imagine your pilot chanting this prayer (in unison) before your next flight!

Feel safer already, huh?

Pilots who are problem-drinkers and the passengers they serve are subject to the connection between the FAA and AA in ways they may be unaware of. From “…the Federal Aviation Administration is in the bag for Alcoholics Anonymous because the medical profession is in the bag for Alcoholics Anonymous. Physicians themselves have accepted the addiction-coddling attitudes of the 1960’s drug revolution as the standard of care for the entire nation, squandering our national treasure and their own integrity… med students are now required to attend AA meetings, as though some evidence suggested that addiction is a medical problem in the first place. Addiction is not a medical problem. Addiction causes medical problems, but no medical problem causes addiction. There are no medical treatments for non-medical problems. The FAA diversion and monitoring programs are an extreme iatrogenic menace to problem drinkers/users and to all passengers of commercial airlines.”

The indoctrination of pilots into this religious based program to deal with substance use/ over-use issues warrants serious consideration and evaluation at this time. Is AA making pilots and passengers safer? On the Clean Slate web site it reports the following, “A study showed that alcoholic men who went to Alcoholics Anonymous became 9 times more likely to subsequently “binge drink” than those who used a cognitive behavioral approach.  What’s more, they were also 5 times more likely to binge than a control group who received no help with drinking.  The take-home message here is: you’re probably better off learning a cognitive behavioral approach for addressing substance use problems, or you might be better off getting no help at all* – than you would be going to AA for help with drinking!” (SEE: ) While many people who turn to AA & NA have problems prior to going to these programs, AA& NA exposure often result in making some people’s issues (especially depression, anxiety, stress, substance use disorder, and suicidal ideation) worse than they were prior to “the program” (which really is less of a “program” and more of a religion, as it has been ruled to be by US courts.) SEE:

The fact that “the program” that pilots with substance use and/or over use issues are being forced to attend is a religious program should be alarming to every citizen of the United States. When you add the reports of “the program” being harmful and potentially psychologically disturbing to many people, it causes even greater concern. The Orange Papers web site states, “I believe that a good case can even be made that Alcoholics Anonymous also increases the suicide rate of its members. “ SEE: How would you feel if you knew that the plane you were boarding was piloted by someone involved with a 12 step based program? Would you feel safer? Would it make a difference to you if your pilot was involved in an evidence-based program instead of a 12 step based program?

Is a “powerless” pilot what passengers envision at the helm of a POWERFUL jet? A pilot who is also an AA member would need to pray, embrace “powerlessness” over alcohol, drugs, people, places and things; then hop into a cockpit and fly a plane. Pilots are human beings; they have challenges just like non-pilots do. Praying is all well and good for many good people, but our pilots deserve and need professional/evidence based resources when dealing with substance use and over-use challenges.

On the FAA web site it states, “A consistently high alcohol related fatal aircraft accident rate serves to emphasize that alcohol and flying are a potentially lethal combination.” SEE:
Hundreds of commercial and private U.S. pilots have been diagnosed and treated for a broad array of serious psychiatric and medical conditions, including schizophrenia, attempted suicide, sexual deviance, alcoholism and drug abuse, a Herald review has found. The review comes in the wake of a chilling episode at Logan International Airport four months ago involving a distraught JetBlue [JBLU] pilot who threatened to “harm himself in spectacular fashion” an hour before takeoff – an incident that sent shudders through airline passengers across the country. Medical record data from 2008, 2009 and 2010 provided by the Federal Aviation Administration under a public records request show:

15 pilots – including one from Massachusetts – have been treated for or diagnosed with schizophrenia.
*Another 292 pilots have attempted suicide, including five Bay Staters.
*2,700 pilots have been treated for alcohol abuse, including 34 from Massachusetts, and another 1,253 have been diagnosed as alcoholics – including 20 Bay Staters.
* 1,377 pilots have been treated for drug abuse – 23 from Massachusetts – and another 94 for drug dependence.

Poor Pilots Pour

The “powerlessness-doctrine” of AA does not ultimately contribute to any real treatment for substance use/ over-use for pilots or anyone else. It is dangerous. Pilots literally hold our lives in their hands when we take to the skies aboard their planes. A pilot must be in control of him or herself and the plane that she or he navigates. Pilots may face issues of substance use just as anyone may. If these pilots are sent to a program for help with their substance use and over use issues, it would be encouraging to know that these programs were actually helping pilots with substance use and over-use challenges. If participation in religious-based/ ineffectual 12 step-based programs make pilots less stable and more prone to erratic behavior; it needs to be acknowledged and investigated. In an article called, Bottle to Throttle: A Short History of Drunk Pilots, Bloomberg Business Week reports, “In the U.S., federal rules prohibit a pilot from operating an aircraft if he or she has a blood-alcohol content of .04 percent or higher—or within eight hours of having consumed an alcoholic beverage, the period known as “bottle to throttle.”  While inebriated pilots are rare, they do exist.” SEE: To ignore this issue only protects Alcoholics Anonymous while putting the lives of countless passengers from countries across the globe in consistent danger. The thought of “powerless” pilots ought to be utterly mortifying to anyone who boards a plane of has loved ones that fly. Again, how many must die so that AA may live?

———————————————————-BREAKING NEWS———————————————————————————————–

Breaking News

Credible sources are now discussing possible/plausible scenarios for the current missing flight crisis. There are many questions; few answers at the time of this post. This is simply a documentation of some of the current information surrounding this mysterious disappearance. No definitive statement as to the mental state, actions, substance use history, etc. has been stated in this post. There have been no reports stating that either pilot of the missing flight were members of any 12 step affiliated program or had any revealed history of substance use disorder. Much is yet to be revealed.

Readers are encouraged to read further, evaluate the news released and investigate for themselves. Again, no possible scenario has yet been found to be valid or invalid at this time. BREAKING NEWS:



Malaysia Says Pilot Suicide a Possibility

The Boston Herald:
Latest missing jet theories: Piracy, pilot suicide

Pilot suicide a taboo topic in past crash probes

CBS News:
Grief, anger and more questions after Malaysia declares Flight 370 crashed

Huffington Post: Obama Makes First Public Comments On Missing Plane

Los Angeles Times:
Search of Malaysia pilot’s home finds no sign of terrorism, suicide,0,5072831.story#ixzz2wMKg39y2

New Zealand Herald:
Flight MH370: Pilot in wrong state of mind to fly – friend

Missing Malaysia Airlines pilot ‘terribly upset’ by marriage break-up:
A reporter from the New Zealand Herald has filed a story from Kuala Lumpur claiming to have spoken to one of Captain Zaharie Ahmad Shah’s friends, a fellow pilot, who said the 52-year-old was going through a number of relationship problems and felt that his life was crumbling at the time of the ill-fated flight on March 8.
Read more:

Malaysian airplane investigators look at suicide as possible motive

The Telegraph:
Malaysia Airlines crash: Suicide mission theory of MH370 investigators

Pilot suicide a taboo topic in past crash probes



Additional information:

Charles O’Rourke:
Suicide by Airplane

Non 12 Step Based Alternatives for Substance Use Disorder

If you or someone you love needs help managing any kind of Substance Use/ Over-use challenge; there are effective, safe, alternatives to 12 step based meetings. Here are just a few (in no particular order):

Harm Reduction for Alcohol – HAMS


SMART Recovery

Women for Sobriety

Moderation Management

Yes, AA Loves Me (dedicated to steppers who insist on trying to post on my Anti-AA blog!)

Why do you zombies just insist on trying to post here?

It is OBVIOUS that this is a non-12-step / “anti-AA” blog, right?

I do not read your insanity. All I do is delete you after I smell you; usually after about 3 to 5 words in. You all say the SAME things with the same thick attitude. You have the exact same hypnotized, brain-washed, narcissistic, sanctimonious, unsolicited vibe. You can’t even see yourselves. But everyone else does. We see you coming…

Many of us feel sorry for you actually. Many of us used to be like you; we know what you think, how you think and why you think it. You are currently living in our past. It is you who has no idea of what we know. We have read the book and the “approved literature” that you read. For instance, have you read and of the following books?

We have. And if you haven’t you really have no business trying to engage the non-12-step community in dialog. You are not even in the same league or on the same page. You can’t be until you decide to THINK and reject the non-sense that you are following. If you are sober or abstinent or in “recovery” you did it. Alcoholics Anonymous just happened to be there. As a matter of fact AA and 12 step rehab faux treatment makes Substance Use Disorder (a.k.a. addiction) worse. There is evidence-based treatment out here for people who want and need it. AA is not only, “not the only way”; AA is no way at all. It’s just a fucking yellow brick road.

These “unapproved” words go against EVERYTHING you have been programed to believe in. Dare you read on? You know you are not allowed to get angry, right? Anger will activate your “disease”, you will then relapse and …DIE!

Yes, you have been conditioned to believe that you will actually DIE if you do not follow and believe in a totally made up program based on a bogus book that some old dude plagiarized while in a hospital ward experiencing delusions.



Here… Here are some “suggestions” for you. Take them or…DIE! (Sorry, I’m just kidding! LOL)

Go to a meeting.

Call someone in the fellowshyt.

Say the Serenity Prayer…at least 12 times RIGHT NOW!

Phone your sponsor and confess to going to sites that do not support your sobriety…just your EMPOWERMENT.

Do some service work.

Drink some coffee.

Smoke something.

Feel some newcomer up.

Love-bomb some poor pigeon.

Read your Big Book.

Listen to someone’s personal 5th step.

Hug some stranger at a meeting.

Take some poor bastard’s inventory.

Listen to a “talk” on CD!

If none of those things appeal to you…watch this video:

Surely, there are many, many things you should and could be doing rather than wasting time here? After all, in your estimation I am just someone who is going to DIE soon…so that others may live.

Listen, I have not been to a meeting in over a year! My terminal uniqueness has metastasized all out of control. You might call me a what “dry-drunk” or just in good ol denial? Go ahead, you know you want to. I don’t mind. Judge and inventory on away.

I am so damned glad I am out of AA. I’ll NEVER go back. I’d rather die…and I don’t stutter. I’d rather DIE! So, damn! Can’t hold THAT over my head now, can you? So, how am I to be controlled? You see? Just call me “one of the unfortunates…” if it makes you feel all RIGHT.

I make decisions for my life like an actual adult. Baby! I’ve got the nerve to damned THINK (of all things!) When I’m invited to go out places where that ole demon-possessed, yet baffling, cunning and powerful ALCOHOL is served–I go! I am not afraid. Their is no “disease” out in the parking lot doing push ups; and no Tooth fairy, Santa or Easter Bunny either, by the way.

And guess what the fuck else?

I drink.

Yeah, I moderate that shit. I have been doing it for over a year now. And you think you’re a “miracle” right? It’s really no big deal for those whose minds were never infected by AA. You and I both know, however, that I am supposed to be in prison, in an asylum or preferably (to totally prove that AA is 100% right) DEAD. By AA’s own standards I should be dead. What gives? Why, how can I have one or two drinks and not just lose all mo fo control, turn 1 drink into 1000, black out and hit hell through the damned bottom? If you really want to know, use your power to educate yourself. Start with:

I was a bit shaky at first because all of the lunacy I learned from my insane, abusive, malpracticing sponsor and grand-sponsor who told me I have DEATH upon me. They were really a couple of old crack-bats. There were others worse than them though. I had a friend in the fellowshyt who was absolutely TERRIFIED of her sponsor. Most folks in the fellowshyt are scared of this woman. She is a pit bull. In REALITY that would discredit her and make her someone to avoid; in AA that made her…esteemed? The more abusive and sadistic you can be between “love-bombings” the more respect you get from fellowshyt-heads.

I looked forward to the times when she would jump-off cussing and starting a huge argument at one of the tables. I’m telling you, this sponsor was a hard-rock baller from the hood! I heard stories that she used to physically attack people back in the day…you know before she gained “Fellowshyt-Sainthood” by racking up 20 years of professed clean-days.

My fellowshyt friend would get very anxious and nervous when she had to speak with her pit bull sponsor. It was the damnedest thing to watch an educated, social worker with grown kids be bullied by an old hard-rock who looked 25 years older than me, even though we are the same age. The woman was ROUGH! I felt sorry for my fellowshyt friend. At least I didn’t have her as a sponsor. WHEW!

How do grown, free Americans justify treating one another that way? Oh wait! I know. They are brain-washed ZOMBIES in a cult! GOT IT!

It took me a while to get my bearings back. I am doing just fine now. The word “recovery” is your cross to bear–not mine. You can carry that weight right on your back until you get it, if ever in this life time. I am over it.

I communicate with REAL people who are allowed to think, learn, grow and research. Did you know that most people who stop drinking do so all on their own with no treatment, no program, no book, no sponsor and NO CULT?

I’m sure you don’t know that. You REFUSE to know it. Right…right…

Did you know that just because you are in AA and my sponsor is in AA and I was in AA you cannot presume to know how she felt about me or what her actual thoughts are or were? Do you realize that reading Bill W’s plagiarized book (from Old Oxford Group Religion in 1939) cannot possibly give you that kind of insight into other human beings?

Have you forgotten that people are individuals; not archetypes created by an old drunk con man who reportedly begged for a drink on his death bed after years of being a sexual predator, tobacco fiend and LSD tripper?

I am a human being. You do not know me. That ridiculous drivel you read over and over again grants you no special, miraculous ability to perceive anything about me other than what I choose to reveal. You’ve been lied to!


You are not powerless.

All you have to do is wake the fuck up!

But until then…stop posting your stupid comments to me. Or continue; what the hell ever. I will simply DELETE. You did manage to inspire the following great song/video. Feel free to sing along…since you’re here!

Yes AA Loves Me (to the tune of Yes Jesus Loves Me)

AA loves me! This I know,
For the Big Book tells me so;
Drunken ones to them belong;
We are weak; AA is strong.

Yes, AA loves me!
Yes, AA saves me!
Yes, AA loves me!
The Bill-Book tells me so.

AA sponsors’ old-time love
Hitting bottom at their shove,
Giving up is the first step,
To confess all secrets kept.
Yes, AA loves me!
Yes, AA saves me!
Yes, AA loves me!
The Big-Book tells me so.

AA meetings numb the mind,
Ignorance is so sublime,
Higher Power hear my prayer
My Disease I cannot bear.
Yes, AA loves me!
Yes, AA saves me!
Yes, AA loves me!
The Bill-Book tells me so.

Ouija boards & 13th steps
Predators and nameless deaths;
No one shows Bill’s hidden truth,
They swear “it works” all without proof.
Yes, AA loves me!
Yes, AA saves me!
Yes, AA loves me!
The Big-Book tells me so.

AA leaves me powerless
Over my life; I confess
If I pray for one more day
I’ll be spared death by AA.
Yes, AA loves me!
Yes, AA saves me!
Yes, AA loves me!
The Bill-Book tells me so.

© 2014 IIF

Buh-Bye! 😉