But WHY Are We So Damned STUPID Though? Of course It’s Unwise to Tell AA’s All Our Business!
Is it ever wise or smart to confide in strangers? Most people are putting themselves in a potentially dicey position when we self-disclosed in 12 step meetings and/or with sponsors. The trust the average person puts in these characters is largely unearned. The reliability of AA & NA members is unproven for any newcomer.
The potential for backfire upon newcomers who load AA & NA members with their innermost thoughts, secrets and misdeeds ought to be enough to wake anyone up. Sadly, maybe a few of us are due to be utterly devastated by the 12 step house of cards before people really understand the precarious position they put themselves in by participating in the crazy 12 step fellowship game.
The way the program is set up, they will have you bent over a barrel, ass-bare and unable to ever get your drawers up from your ankles. You’ll be stuck. How can you leave a den of wolves that knows all of your damned business? It seems participation may one day leave some people in the regrettable position of having to stay in or at least going through the motions just to try to ensure that the hounds do not turn on him or her; but even then there is no guarantee.
Maybe some people stay in AA & NA to, as they say, ‘keep their enemies close’. Once those zombies know all of your business, you are at a distinct disadvantage. Your only saving grace may be that you know a lot of their secrets too. How much do you really ‘know’ though? Old-timers have learned long ago to only tell you what they do not mind you knowing. They know the game. As a “newcomer” you never have the upper hand, nor do you ever know what is really going down. Only they know.
Have you ever heard the term, “As thick as thieves?”
Yeah…that’s what I’m talkin about!
My grand sponsor loved the AA saying: “Some of us must die so that others may live!”
Her joy was scaring me regarding my impending ‘death’ once I disclosed to her that I am a suicide attempt survivor from my teen years. She is a mean, sadistic woman who covers her abuse in calling it “tough-love” and trying to “save” another alcoholic. I say, mean is mean; and I needed someone to save me from her!
Saying, “Death…death…death… Do what we say or DIE!” simply was her fondest way to emotionally torture and manipulate me.
But…I got a new one for that ass:
“Some must get fucked up by 12 step BS so that others may wake the fuck up and ESCAPE!”
Newcomers need to be warned to keep their asses covered; both literally and figuratively. It ought to become common knowledge that anything you say at AA meetings or to your AA sponsor(s) can be brought out in court because of the slippery slope that AA rides in trying to have it both ways.
There is no set legal protection in place that gives one any legal privacy within AA. From my research, the legal professionals and judges are being allowed to decide on a case by case basis.
Five US Appeals Courts have found AA to be in fact a religion, but we would need a Supreme Court ruling to make this nationally recognized and set any legal precedent that would cover all cases in this country. So, it’s basically a legal grab bag. (You can throw your shit into that greasy bag if you want to my friend.)
But to AA’s credit, there is still confusion:
The whole mess is all as sketchy as AA and NA are overall with their double-speak, duplicitous, deceptive non-sense! Alcoholics Anonymous needs to be made to shit or get off the crapper. As it is now they just have it all kinds of ways coming and going.
A Yahoo Answers group member put it best:
“Confidentiality in an AA meeting is to protect the person from worrying that the actions he or she was involved in while drunk will not become a source of gossip within the community. They are not protected by confidentiality under the law. Confidentiality for legal purposes is for professionals who have to follow standards set in place by ethics boards run by a group of people overseeing violations. There is not a state or national AA board that certifies and reviews the ethical behavior of AA sponsors and can essentially revoke the sponsor status of someone who violates these standards. If a sponser knows about details about a crime, they could get into trouble for clamming up and obstructing justice.”
Or…they could not.
Gossip is rampant in these 12 step fellowships. My sponsor had no idea (I don’t think) of the many rumors about her being spread about. I heard about her…but I never repeated the stuff to her. I didn’t see the point…
“Hey Madam Sponsor! I heard you was a hoe butt-bangin all the fellahs of The Fellowship for years and years!” ;-D
Naw… I’m NOT the ONE!
But no secrets are safe in AA or NA is all that I’m saying.
The 4th step and 5th step requirements can potentially open people up to legal problems…that perhaps they deserve. I am not here to judge. One ought to just be aware of that in between sips of weak coffee and Kool-Aid.
AA members have blackmailed, abused and taken advantage of people due to “secrets” some people have shared with these self-proclaimed alcoholics and addicts. Why do people believe that just because these characters are in AA or NA, they will not hurt you? They will. They do. They break promises. They lie. They steal and they kill.
Please review the following official court document:
http://pub.bna.com/cl/013751.htm Document Except:
“If § 4505 of the New York C.P.L.R. be construed as expressing an endorsement of the traditionally recognized forms of religious express/on over a less conventional religious expression, the state has violated the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. Similarly, to the extent that a Free Exercise issue is involved, if the state is treating AA meetings with less protection than any other form of religious communication which carries assurances of confidentiality, a Constitutional violation also exists.
This issue was adequately tendered to the Appellate Division on appeal and the Petitioner cannot be dismissed on claims of non-exhaustion. This is particularly true in light of Respondent’s brief in the Appellate Division where the People argue that AA is not a religion and that disclosures made in furtherance of its doctrines are not privileged under § 4505.”
Of course, the legalities are one thing; personalities are another!
I advise that you don’t share anything that you would not want reported on TMZ. Funny, but words to the definite wise! Sure, there are rules about confidentiality, but if someone chooses to break those rules; they can. AA and NA are not professional organizations where one can expect legal confidentiality. These people are basically, nobodies, trying to be somebody by racking up supposed ‘sobriety-time’. Gossip rules fools! If an AA member or sponsor should ever choose to break your confidence and tell whomever they want your personal information, what recourse do you have? You could try to sue—I guess; then EVERYBODY will know all your shit. Whew! When confidences are broken some people suffer horribly…on BOTH sides. Some people kill folks. Some others even kill themselves.
In the case linked below a guy killed his AA sponsor for telling other AA members that he was gay!
Our secrets may be sick…but sharing them with sponsors and fellowship people is even sicker; STUPID.
Is it worth it to practice in this non-treatment based “spiritualnotreligious” religion that was plagiarized from the old Oxford Group religion and embellished upon by Bill Wilson, who also experimented with the use of LSD to help alcoholism?
He based the crap he added to it on a Vision he had while drying out in the alcoholic ward of a hospital. He claimed it was God speaking to him. Well, that’s how prophets work, right? They see and hear revelations directly from God, they share it with the masses and the sheople follow. It is all one’s choice to believe.
Personally, I have absolutely no vested interest in what anyone anywhere chooses to believe as long as he or she does not harm me or mine. Have fun!
Seriously, though…. Are people really willing to gamble their entire lives on this 12 step thing that has mushroomed beyond anything those old drunks from 1939 could have ever imagined?
They were broke drunks for Pam’s sake! They were simply trying to sell some big ol books and make some cheese. Who is so dim that he or she cannot see that? Alcoholics Anonymous still makes most of its money from the racket it created selling those God forsaken books!
I honestly do not hold all of this against Wilson and his friends. It is people that are being fickle and weak-minded—especially in this, the Age of Information.
We ought to know better by now.
We human beings in general are flawed. And while you have to be able to TRUST someone, I would not assume that AA and NA members are the most worthy to trust simply because they say they are. Liars never tell you that they’re liars…now do they? And the folks who have escaped AA and NA are not in the meetings to tell you that they are not dead…are they?
Many people have left AA. (http://www.LeavingAA.com)
Don’t be stupid…that’s all I’m saying to you all & to myself. I’m so glad I got outta there!
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein